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When a girl says she's married after you bought her a drink.
No one says Mutha F*cka better than Samuel.
Favorite quote from Ozzy - "Wtf is a Bieber"
I'm not a cat, only one life!
It's a scratch and sniff painting.
Good thing I'll have a basket of candy on hand.
I'm a Vagatarian
The reason I don't want kids.
When former martial artists turn to cutting hair.